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The ID10T Files
Computers are crap and people are stupid.
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2nd-Nov-2011 08:47 pm - Help Desk Tip of the Day
round glasses
When the application brings up an extensive error message, "Nothing" is an incorrect answer to my question of "What does it do?"
28th-Oct-2011 08:50 pm - Help Desk Tip of the Day
round glasses
When I say to wait "literally a few minutes", that does not mean to wait 20 seconds.
20th-Oct-2011 06:36 pm - Help Desk Tip of the Day
When the help desk analyst asks you a true or false question, if you don't know what he's talking about then do no answer either true or false.
6th-Oct-2011 06:25 pm - Help Desk Ticket Quote of the Week
stupid burns
"I'm one of the lucky ones. . . I don't have to use vpn. I wouldn't want to carry my desktop computer from here to my house. Too heavy !"
13th-Sep-2011 06:56 pm - A rhetorical question
round glasses
Why do people think they can get any sympathy at all for their problem when they say they have been having this issue "going on three days now" but must surely know that I am looking at the ticket and can see the time stamp of the ticket they opened as late yesterday afternoon?

1st-Sep-2011 06:25 pm - Mirror, mirror
round glasses
The user is reporting a VPN login issue which seems more representative of a network issue than with a password. He is telling me how to fix it before he has even described the issue enough for me to know what is actually going on. He uses the pronoun "it" without making it clear what "it" is and paraphrases every prompt and error message.

User: "Every month when I change my password I have this problem."

Geis: "The password and the security token, though they are both part of the VPN login process, are unrelated so changing one should not affect the other."

User: "Should. When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror I should look like Harrison Ford. Instead, when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I look like John Candy."

Geis: "No offense but your analogy is not valid. It is the difference between the system you want and the system you have.The security token is completely different from the mainframe password, it's more like a digital watch than it is like a password, and it's even supplied by a third party vendor. For it to be having a problem because of a password change would go against the system design and a decade of my experience troubleshooting these issues. To use your analogy it would more along the lines of you looking in the mirror every morning for 10 years and seeing John Candy and then suddenly one morning seeing Harrison Ford instead. I don't doubt that you are having password issues or that they happen monthly, but the problem you have is not the problem you think you have. Now, can you not paraphrase the error message and read to me exactly what it says on the screen?"

At some point while attempting to troubleshoot, the user decided that he should reboot and while we were waiting for that to sort itself out he ended the call to address another call with a customer. The issue was not resolved and, when he calls back, I have low expectations for success.

He'll be calling back next month.
4th-Aug-2011 07:54 pm - ginaunlock.dll
round glasses
Had a user call with a windows startup error about ginaunlock.dll missing or corrupt. I was curious about what specifically that dll was for and a Google search found this gem:

What is ginaunlock.dll Error?

ginaunlock.dll is the dll support file found in many types of Windows operating systems. The ginaunlock.dll file plays an important role for the programs which require ginaunlock.dll in order to function properly.

What the fuck does that mean?
29th-Jul-2011 02:11 pm - Help Desk User Quote of the Day
round glasses
User: ". . . X as in ex-a-phone. . . "
13th-Jul-2011 03:38 pm - Really?
stupid burns
It should not take half an hour forty five minutes one hour to reset someone's password.
6th-Jul-2011 08:44 pm - It just gets better and better
stupid burns
It should not take half an hour forty five minutes to reset someone's password.
27th-Jun-2011 07:41 pm - Triple play
It should not take half an hour to reset someone's password.

Let me say it again because I had to do it twice, it should not take half an hour to reset a password.

And, once more because yet another user was a complete moron, it should not take half a fucking hour to reset your stupid password.
6th-Jun-2011 08:46 pm - Unlike
So this user, like, calls me at the help desk and she is all, like, her printer isn't working and she, like, tried to clear the jam and it was, like, jamming again and in her 30 second explanation of, like, what was going on she, like, used like like 10 times and, like, always used and and, like, never a period.
29th-Apr-2011 08:10 pm - Help Desk Quote of the Day
stupid burns
Geis: "Corporate Helpdesk, this is Geis. Can I have your login ID?"

User: [provides old bank logid]

Geis: "Can I have your new bank login ID?"

User: "Yes."

Geis: ". . . . . "

User: ". . . . . "

Geis: "I'm going to need you to tell me that."

User: "Tell you what?"

Geis: "Your new bank login ID."

User: "What's that?"

Geis: "You have to tell me because it's YOUR login ID."

User: "Oh."

Geis: ". . . . . "

User: ". . . . . "

"What's your name so I can look up you login id?"
25th-Apr-2011 07:43 pm - Help Desk Ticket Quote of the Day
round glasses
when trying to send na email getting hte error
erro during main dictionaery spell initialization
16th-Apr-2011 10:46 am - Help Desk Quote of the Week
round glasses
On the line assisting a user with a system issue. Windows is unusually slow to respond, to which the user says:

"Reminds me of my wife. Very slow to do anything."
4th-Apr-2011 06:34 pm - Help Desk Quote of the Day
stupid burns
User: "I've been trying for 15 minutes to change my password and it won't take anything."

Geis: "Passwords must be at least 6 but no more than 8 characters. They must contain both letters and numbers. They must contain either the 'dollar' sign, the 'at' sign or the 'pound' sign. avoid common words or, better yet, avoid words altogether."

"I've done all that and it's still not working. I've been doing it right for 15 minutes and it's not taking anything. Something must be wrong with the account."

Geis: "How many characters total are in the last password you tried?"

User: "Eleven."
1st-Apr-2011 08:19 am - Help Desk Ticket Quote of the Day
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17th-Feb-2011 07:49 pm - Help Desk Ticket Quote of the Day
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this operation is not allow when there is not recods desplay please execute aa query that deplays a record or 1 record
What is most horrific about this ticket is that our ticket application now has spell check.
5th-Feb-2011 11:04 am - Help Desk Tip of the Day
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When complaining loudly that your issue hasn't been addressed in two days, realize that I am looking at the ticket that you opened only 4 hours ago.
30th-Dec-2010 02:48 pm - Help Desk Ticket of the Day
round glasses
unable to scann documents in the  
application tryed to reboot the computer and
log on and off but nothing is fixing the    
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